Move away from home. Spend about two years in a new place; establish a pretty decent amount of friends. Move away from those friends. Come back about 5 months later and see what happens. If your friends are anywhere near as awesome as my friends, that 5 months will be enough time for an awesome brew of “friendship beer” to ferment. It’s a little intense at first, but it goes down smooth.
Over the past two days, I have learned a lot about myself.
1. When I get really excited, I sweat. A lot.
I pulled into to Ada at about half past five on Wednesday. If you didn’t already know there is a pretty decent amount of humidity in Oklahoma. I was walking, yes, walking, around the campus of East Central University just sweating my ass off. And it only got worse when I got into the cafo and was jumped by a group of people. I sat down at the table, after kissing my good friend Kaleb on the cheek and commenced to sweat my ass off. All I was really doing was laughing, making a fool of myself and asking Jesslyn how much I was sweating.
2. Not everyone will be excited to see me.
Sad face.
3. I really enjoy a good surprised face.
Before I went to cafo I went to Doc’s office I hid under his desk to surprise Jesse, and that was priceless. He makes really cute faces when he’s excited. And shortly thereafter I saw Doc. I tell you what, that man can make me cry faster than a beaten redheaded stepchild. I love Dr. Steven Walker a whole freaking lot. When we saw each other there were no words, just silence, smiles, and a hug. I hugged everyone. But my hug with Doc was my favorite, by far.
4. People like me a lot more than I thought.
If I knew how much of an influence I had on people I would have thought more about staying. I would have thought less about being depressed. I wouldn’t have changed anything I said. Apparently my awkward apathy is part of my charm. I make people think. Well, I know for sure I make Caitlin Gray think. I make people laugh, I think that is what brings about most of my charming qualities. I like making people laugh, it makes me feel good.
5. I have no concept of personal space.
OK, so I already knew this. Whenever I have missed people for a long time, I will express my feelings in touch. I will soak up as much skin time as I can get because I need to get my touch fix, call me crazy but I really like to touch people. I will cuddle with you against your will. I will touch you while you’re in the shower. I will get intoxicated and touch you in places that I shouldn’t. And I will try to hold your hand.
6. I put stock into things that make no sense.
7. I really like beer. Like a lot.
8. When I am drinking beer, I will say things that I probably shouldn’t.
I went to the bar Wednesday night, after about 2 beers I was getting really comfortable with everyone. Something was said about drink preferences, and I expressed my feelings for beer. “Beer is better than sex” I said; general disagreement voiced around the table. “Beer never lets me down,” loud “oooooo” heard around the table. This wasn’t a knock on my love life, which is lovely, I just didn’t think about it before I said it. Big surprise, I think I might have actually embarrassed myself on that one.
9. I question everything and never accept anything, even love, at face value.
10. It doesn’t take much to make my jaw sore.
I bought a pack of gum for the trip to Oklahoma; I chewed through about 2 pieces within 3 hours. By the time I made it to Eufaula, I was hungry. I bought some beef jerky and went on my way. From McAlester on I kept my jaw as relaxed as possible. I felt like I had chewed through a tree. It must really suck to be a beaver.
11. I get kind of rape-y when I miss people.
Sorry Kaleb.
With that said, I just want you know that I think about this place, and these people often. I can only hope that they do the same.
12. I cry a lot.
“When all I wanted was to sing,
I was granted
The honor of living”
Yeah, that makes me cry. It doesn’t matter that I’m not singing. I am alive, and I have never felt more alive than when I listened to the chorale perform that. I became part of that song. I was dancing like I was part of the choir, I breathed with it. I felt a stabbing pain with every glorious chord, I wept. That experience is the closest thing I will ever have to an out of body experience. Thank you God, for letting me experience that.
