Disney movies make me hate my life. I know they are supposed to be all happy and good, but they upset me. Being a girl and being raised on princess movies you get pretty disappointed when you look at your life and see you are absolutely prince-less, and you aren’t really a princess either. They build up really high expectations, for everyone really. I mean, no thief is going to end up with a princess, or even a Kardashian. The guy who is in and out of jail for the bad things he does is going to end up marrying a meth head; there is no princess for him. A woman who was raised to do everything right is not going to suddenly fall for a felon. But apparently that’s not too farfetched for Disney movies.
Give me a movie where they upstanding gentleman falls for the rule breaking female? The little girl in UP is kind of weird and free spirited, and that’s probably why she died first. Ariel totally sold her voice to a witch, which I guess is bad, and she got a prince. But she also had to leave her entire family and way of life to be with her prince charming. So there are 2 movies that I can think of off the top of my head. And those are kind of weak examples of crazy girls. If I were to watch a movie where the gorgeous, kind prince falls for the street rat girl, I would probably not be three sobs away from a panic attack right now.
It’s upsetting to look back on your life and be completely disappointed with everything. It’s really, really disappointing. I’m not going to write a list of all my disappointments because that would make me sad; I only like to think about one at a time. I can maybe handle two, but that would be a lot of tears. And I know that no one wants to hear about how fucking sad my life is, it’s not really even that bad. I just have a bunch of disappointing stories. I have good ones too, but I am sad and I want to vent without everyone thinking I’m a sad piece of shit.
But back to the fairy tale bull shit. Give me a story where the girl who falls from glory, makes bad choices, is foul mouthed, and is maybe a little fat, meets a guy and who is not a total ass clown, maybe even a gentleman and he pursues her. He sees her as a free spirit, an adventure. Someone to explore life with and someone who has the potential to be a great wife and mother. Someone with mistakes a plenty and a little bit of a trashy streak, but someone with a kind heart and good intentions. I know one is expected to be a lady to snag a gentleman, but I want to be an exception. I want to be this crazy thing I am right now, and not be disrespected by my love interests and/or their friends. I want to be able to joke around with the guys and still have my voice heard. Maybe I am just hanging out with a bad crowd.
I want to have a fairy tale; I want to have that fluttery feeling in my stomach again one day. Maybe I need to feel more of this enveloping darkness to appreciate any kind of light. Maybe I need to feel cold and lonely to understand warmth. Maybe I just need to run away and start over. Maybe I just needed a good cry. Maybe I am just insane, I did just weep while watching Tangled.
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