I’ve made this beautiful world for myself. Its all wrapped
up in my head. Wrapped in soft blankets tucked in for the night just waiting
for the morning so it can wake up. I am so good at lying to myself, so good in
fact that I have a really hard time gauging my own emotions. I like to think I’m
happy and I know what I want, but how will I ever really know.
For example, my current situation. I have wanted what I have
now for about a month, and all I can think about are the ways its going to fall
apart. I’m so full of bittersweet doubt. I feel happy, there are so many things
about this moment in my life that I could sing and dance for, but there are
also so many reasons for me to stay up late and bask in my paranoia.
I don’t know what to do; I don’t know how to let myself be
happy.
I think the quote "Worry is a down payment on a problem you may never have" is kind of applicable here. Try not to worry, and hopefully you can tame the paranoia and enjoy what you've got going on. You're awesome, so keep it that way.
ReplyDeleteWow, I read this immediately after writing my latest post, apparently we are sharing some similar feelings. However, I don't think you have as much to worry about as you feel you do. I think you have found something great. Don't bask in paranoia. Bask in joy. If you only worry how things will fall apart then you really have nothing to look forward to. The end is never the most important part of the story. Enjoy the journey, because that is important. Keep that chin high and a smile from cheek to cheek. Love ya kid.
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